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Lush recently launched a complete range of 'Dirty' cosmetics, based on the B Never perfume of the same name. Despite the name, all the products are clean and fresh scented. I've been using most of these recently, so here's my rundown of the whole lot:

Dirty perfume - This is the original B Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful perfume which the range is based on - now marketed as a Gorilla perfume. Dirty is predominantly spearmint-scented. However, in one of those cunning twists of perfume manufacture, it doesn't actually contain spearmint; the effect is achieved by a careful balance of tarragon, lavender, sandalwood and neroli, which are less sickly than actual spearmint oil would be. It's an agreeably unisex fragrance, whose alcohol content dissipates rapidly to leave the main scent. I really like this - it's enough to persuade me to wear perfume more often. However, it's not a world-beater. I give it 8/10. (I was testing the 27g bottle - it also comes in 9g long bottles and 2g vials.)

Dirty solid perfume - This is the same basic scent as the liquid perfume, and all the good things mentioned above apply to the solid as well. The pale green stick is made of jojoba oil, castor oil, candelia wax, and talc. There's also an extra 'perfume' ingredient mentioned, which as it doesn't seem to affect the overall smell, is presumably there to soften the scent of the wax. The general effect is slightly more subtle than the liquid perfume, but it's still very good. 8/10.

Dirty body spray - This deodorant spray comes in a black plastic bottle with a trigger grip that makes it look at bit like a goth sink cleaner. However, that needn't put you off. This is another good presentation of the same basic scent as in the previous two products. Mixed up to a lower concentration, it forms a refreshing spray which enlivens the skin at the same time as perfuming you. I'm not a big spray deodorant user these days, but I still recommend this as a good example. 8/10.

Dirty shaving cream - Lush's latest shaving cream has the same good, even density that makes Prince so effective. Almost pure white in colour, it can be scooped out of the pot with fingertips quite readily, and washes off when needed. It's very lightly scented, consisting mostly of water, oat milk, safflower and shea butter. It also contains the scent elements from the perfume, and something I'd never encountered before - Tonka beans, Dipteryx Odorata, as a vanilla substitute. The smell is pleasant enough, but the key thing here is the evenness of the shave. Dirty gives an even cleaner, smoother shave than Prince, which already head and shoulders above Lush's other products and the competition. With Dirty, I can consistently shave with very little irritation. It's super effective: 9.5/10. NB: This product is not vegan, as it contains honey.

Dirty Springwash shower gel - This has a very similar smell to the other products, but it really contains spearmint oil. It's viscous, a lurid cyan colour, and strong-smelling. It lathers moderately well, and leaves the skin feeling smooth and purged. This is an excellent morning shower gel, perfect for washing the cobwebs away. I prefer it slightly to the quite similar Freeze, and strongly to the more overtly citrus-scented gels such as Slammer. Good stuff - 8.5/10

Dirty Toothy Tabs - Lush's alternative to toothpaste, like the shower gel, is billed as something for the morning after the night before. Scented with spearmint oil, each tablet is less than a centimetre wide and you just pop it in and chew, then brush. The solid constituents of the tablet are calcium phosphate, bicarbonate of soda, cream of tartar, and kaolin. Maybe I'm imagining it, but I do think I can taste the kaolin; the tablets have a quality which I can best describe as chalky. However, they're also pretty effective. They lather up and get your teeth clean in short order. The tablets are vegan, and are sweetened with saccharin, which will suit some users but not others. I wouldn't use these instead of my regular toothpaste, but I can imagine taking a packet camping or to a festival, for the sheer convenience. Nice idea - 7.5/10

Dirty hair cream - I've got to confess, I'm not generally a fan of hair creams and gels. But in fairness to Lush, they've produced a pretty good one here. The cream itself is extremely stiff - it doesn't flow at all. It's a creamy off-white colour, and to be honest, it smells mostly of linseed, which is the first ingredient. But it's surprisingly supple once you start to apply it, and it's described as a firm hold gel, so it should keep your hair the shape you want it. Once on, it smells rather more of the Dirty fragrance - again, no real spearmint oil here. It dries pretty slowly, but is not as cloying as some hair products. The holding effect is good - it certainly kept my fly-away hair out of my eyes. Still a bit waxy and chemical in its aroma for my tastes, but not half bad. 7.5/10.

- Alex 'Dirty But Clean' Tiefling
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